As parents, we want the best future for our children. What could that be? (Image via: Parenting Diary)

Editorial: Que Sera Sera Is Not What You Should Say to Your Children

Whatever will be, will be is not the key to life. While some people see this as the statement to say that their children could be anything they desire, it is not a good motivation.

Steve Biddulph, an Australian family educator and psychologist, stated that this “que sera sera” is a killing message for their children that needs to be avoided at all cost.

He added that children need to be taught that – in reality – you cannot become anything you want. We all know that as parents, we want our children to dream high, and to reach for the stars.

For instance, some children – when they are young – they want to be something “illogical”, e.g. singers, artists, and other impossible dreams to begin with. Not to belittle all parents out there, but we need to be honest to our kid with softest way as possible. Like what they will face, how much cost that they have to pay for their dreams.

Becoming a pilot – for example – is way better dream than artists, because it is not impossible to achieve. Therefore, when your children start to have this delusion of grandeur, it is better for you to put them down rather than see them disappointed in the end. The mental pressure will be too great for them.

We are not cutting their wings, we just help them to aim at better direction. If your children want to be an artist, tell him/her the rigged road. If he/she understands well, then it is good. But, if it is only their delusion, it would be better to put them in better direction than to live in illusion.

Ask Simon Cowell. He knows this way too well. One time when he rejected “awful” contestants and the contestants’ parents come to protest his decision, Cowell always put the blame on the parents for leading their children-now-teenager to a delusion.

Even when they have not understood just yet, we need to implant this mindset that their dreams come with consequence and struggle, and that this opportunity is open for all.

At the end, we need to teach our children to dream logically. Dreaming high is good, but the higher the dream, the harder they may fall.